2015- The best and the worst of it

Another year gone and yeah that’s about it. 2015. It’s crazy how fast it went by and how little I did in it except enjoy and read and read and then read some more. I guess wrote too and studied when I had too but the thing I did best is read. Not much different from any other year yet all the more alive in my memory.

20015 was a crazy year, the year my imagination ran wild in the corridors of Hogwarts and the year I git to finally visit the HP studios. Yay! I guess it wasn’t a bad year (how could it be with so much HP in it?) but it was not the best year also. I had few of the top ten moments of my life yes, but don’t we all have that every year? It was a year. A normal, perfectly average and balanced year with some things I would rather not go through ever again and somethings I would want to spend the rest of my life doing.

I made friends, lost none, changed schools, write, read, sang and much more, I started some things I always wanted to do and finished some. I grew up and became more of a child than ever before. It was a year of firsts and lasts, but the most I will remember this year for, is the readings, the school trip, the first days, the troubles, the LOTR X-Mas gift, the knowledge, the smiles and the visit to London, story book sights, HP studios and my final English Language paper. And Angela (a character I made and fell in love with as well as her bff Kevin.)

The paper was a life turning moment which is weird because it was just a paper right? An examination? What’s the big deal, you have them like four times a year and they are a headache and a heart ache. They are toil and worse than quests and tear you from books and cause fights and are like prophecies, they are pure evil but way too necessary and no matter what you can’t avoid them. So what’s so special? Did something dramatic happen? No. Did an earthquake come in the middle of it? No.

So then what? Maybe your comprehension passage was from your own book? I wish. Maybe it something that you knew very well? I hope.

But no, it was much much more than that. It was me. I learnt something new about myself, something that changed me, not much but it was a significant change, a change I can’t stop thinking about and no it wasn’t falling in love.  It was in that paper, I discovered something that is huge part of me, that makes me me, at least a tiny bit of it.  To others what I learnt might be simple, un-moving, mundane or something they always knew. To me it was a discovery. A discovery like Harry yer a wizard or a discovery like Frodo your ring can destroy us all. Okay, maybe not that dramatic but still it was huge. To me.

So what was it? What was more important than walking the halls of Hogwarts, living my dream? What was more important than the pure peace of reading or the uncontrollable joy of  seeing the HP studios, something that made me cry and smile and lifted my heart? More important than the stories which we truly love and those that stay with us forever? What was it?

So here’s how it goes. I was there, sitting, writing my exam, in a silent hall, smiling and then I come to the essay. A short story on A Promise, that was what I choose out of the many (six) choices. Nothing big right?

So I knew an amazing story that I had written before (not bragging) which would fir this title and would get me amazing marks despite being a little different ( I can’t ever manage to write something exactly same twice) and I decided to go ahead with it. Good marks are amazing right? And then it happened.  There was no bang or o wizards running in or lightning and thunder, nothing dramatic at all, it wasn’t even like anything had changed but for me a lot it. No everything but still.

When I started to write, something was missing. It was a feeling that was missing and I couldn’t help but feel empty without it, it was the shaking of my hands, and the nervousness and the beating if my heart and the desire to keep the story hidden in me and yet scream it at the world, that was missing. I was missing the pure joy of creating something. The that sense of exhilaration, that sense when your pen runs away with you, that un- explainable sense of of of something that I can’t even name. The joy of writing. It took me a moment to pin it down and I ignored and continued to write but it didn’t feel like me writing anymore. It felt different, strange and wrong, since when did I write for marks but not for the joy of it? The strange feeling of when a plot twist comes that you didn’t know you were going to write, the  adrenaline of the story writing itself, the joy of choosing between two scenes and the confusion and the pure essence of writing?

The want to stop writing and the determination to continue and much more and then I let it go, I let my pen flow and twist and the familiar story turned into something new and that feeling that I had missed was back full force and the story turned in ways I couldn’t even imagine before I did and a lot happened in those few seconds, the story maybe became better or maybe not but to me it became more important than anything else and I grew shy of sharing it and yet not. I can’t describe but the joy of writing, the pride of it that came with every good story that I loved and had written came back and trust me it was the best feeling in the world. It was the feeling of having made something that hopefully would make someone smile like it made me and the story did take a lot of turns and it somehow remained attached to me and HP  because HP is a huge part of me and it was still a lot more. A tale of shadows turned into a tale of fights and betrayals and love and courage and then into friendship which was totally unexpected yet expected. I loved it. I wish I could the feeling but it’s like seeing Lorien the land of the elves, you have to see it for yourself and I hope all of you feel that joy once in your life. It’s worth it. It was amazing. It taught me who I am and why I love words so much. Because these words make me Anjali and without I would be someone else entirely, the same person with the fire that lights her eyes and the smile that shines on her face, a shadow of who she could be. I learnt why I love writing almost as much as reading and I learnt me. It was something I would not give for all the wards in the world. Hopefully!

So that was 2015 for me. What was it for you? Oh! Happy New Year people, may Hagrid come in your lives like he did in Harry’s, may you get everything and more, may you all meet your true fellowship, may you learn about yourselves like Katniss, Clary, Percy and many more did, with hopefully less troubles but more adventures! Happy New Year.



P.S. Thanks for reading and make my day with a comment? I love hearing your thoughts, even if they maybe shouts directed  at me for boring you to death. Keep the flames to a minimum maybe? Happy 2016! Also HBD to everyone whose birthday it is!


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